私の青春時代と言えば、小学校一年生なら、中学校を卒業するまで、勉強ばかりだった。母に友達と遊ぶ許可を取るのはなかなか難しかった。私の成績では一流小学校に入れなかったが、母が学校の食堂で働いていたので、その学校に入学できた。そこから、大変な日々が始まった。塾だけではなく、放課後、母の隣に座って、５～６冊の問題集をされられた。勉強中に寝てしまうのは当然のことだった。それだけではなく、学校で中国語や英語の字のテストに失敗したら、休み時間でも休まずに、先生に字の訂正を練習させられた。そんなとき、何も食べらなかったから、胃が弱い私は胃を壊すことがよくあった。クラスでいつも意地悪な扱いをされた。「ブラークィン（Blur Queen）」と呼ばれて、誰も体育のゲームのチームに私をほしがらなかった。なぜなら、私のせいで、チームが失敗する可能性が高いから。それで、私は学校に行くのを嫌がるようになった。
( Saying about my younger days, from the first year in elementary school till graduating from middle school, it had only been studying. It was rather hard to get permission from my mum to play with my friends. With my grades, although I can't get into a elite elementary school, as my mum worked at the school's canteen, I was able to enter the school. From then onwards, my tough days started. Other than attending cramming school, after school, I will sit beside my mum and made to do 5-6 assessment books which are additional collections of questions to test understanding of any subjects. It was only natural that I fell asleep while studying. Not only that, when I failed at my Chinese and English spelling tests, without resting even in recess time, I was made to practice on the corrections by the teacher. At that time, as I did not get to eat anything, it often happened to spoil my weak stomach due to gastric. I was often treated badly in class. Being called "Blur Queen - someone who cannot do anything well", I was not wanted by anyone in Physical Education games. The reason is that, because of me, there is a high possibility that the team will lose. Thereupon, I became to not like going to school.)
一流中学校に入らなかったが、自分で頑張って勉強した。勉強とともに、入った吹奏楽団を頑張って練習した。私はピアノをしていて、音楽の基本があるから、そのクラブを選んだ。友達と音楽を奏でるのはとても楽しかった。初めて自分が必要とされた。「居場所」を見つけた。しかし、練習が多すぎるので、成績がちょっと下がった。そして、母にクラブの活動に行くことを禁止された。それを思うたびに、何回も泣いた。いいところに、学校に代表として、「シンガポール・ユース・フェスティバル」に参加できた。大変な練習をしただけに、銅牌を授賞したときは、本当にうれしかった。家は学校と違って、毎日母に小さい間違いを言われたり、家事をしなかったことで叱られたり、ぶたれたりした。私の疲れや忙しさを、私が好きなものを、理解できない母が嫌いようになってきた。
( Even though I did not get into the elite middle school, I studied hard myself. With studying, I worked hard at practising for the brass band which I had entered. As I am learning piano and have music basics, I chose that club. It was very fun, being able to play music with my friends. It was the first time that I felt being wanted. I found the "place where I belong". However, due to the many trainings, my grades dropped by a little. Then, my mum forbid me to go for club activities. Everytime when I think about that, I cried . Talking about the good stuff, representing the school, I got to participate in the "Singapore Youth Festival". With the tough training, when we got awarded the bronze medal, I was really happy. Home is unlike school, I was beaten for not doing housework chores and scolded for every little thing. I became to hate my mum for not understanding my tiredness, hecticness, nor the things that I like.)
憎しみは専門学校に入っても続いていた。両親と住んでいたけど、自分で生活費を払っていた。その理由と家にいたくないという理由で、アルバイトをやっていた。一年生の後半、彼氏ができた。私の悪いところで、母の言葉に耳を傾けなかっただけだが、母が彼氏に私の悪口を言った。３年後、彼氏は母の言うことにうんざりしたので、私と別れた。心に閉じ込めていた憎しみがもっと大きくなった。あまりの悲しみに、自殺まで考えていたが、勇気がなかった。それに、いつも自殺をしたいと口にしていたら、友達が一人一人私から離れた。
( The hatred carried on while entering a technical school. Although I am living with my parents, I was paying for my own living expenses. For that reason and the reason of not wanting to be at home, I was doing part-time job. In the second term of Year 1, I got a boyfriend. Even though my bad part is only not listening to my mum's words, my mum spoke ill of me to my boyfriend. After 3 years, as my boyfriend was tired of my mum's words, broke up with me. The hatred that was deeply kept in my heart grew bigger. With such sadness, even though I thought of committing suicide, I had no courage. Furthermore, as I always say that I wanted to commit suicide, my friends one-by-one left me.)
そのまま、大学生になった。専門学校に最終学年に知り合いになった友達とよくコンピュターゲームをしたり、出掛けたりして、そのおかげで、闇から脱出した。大学二年生のとき、今の彼氏と付き合い始めて、問題が増えた。彼氏の学歴は専門学校にすぎないから、大学生の私と比べたら、母の目には全く適当できない。それで、彼氏が好きじゃなかった。それに、出掛けてから、午前12時より遅く帰ったら、叱ったり、ぶったりした。彼氏の前で、私をぶったことが一回あった。そのとき、私のために、彼氏は許してくださいと言った。母は私を心配していると分かっているが、それはあまりにもひどいと思う。しかも、私はちゃんと勉強したし、悪いことも一切しなかった。そのときから、母が海軍の彼氏のいる場所を聞いたとき、私は「航行している」といつも答えた。
( Without change, I became a university student. Thanks to playing computer games and going out with my friends whom I had known at the last year of technical school, I escaped from the darkness. When I was a 2nd year university student, I started to go out with my current boyfriend and problems arose. As my boyfriend's education ended at technical school, when compared to me as a university student, it was never suitable in my mum's eyes. She did not like my boyfriend. Moreover, if I returned home later than 12am, I got beaten and scolded. There was a time where I was beaten in front of my boyfriend. At that time, for my sake, my boyfriend asked for forgiveness. Even though I know that my mum is worried about me, but I think it was too much. Besides, I had always been studying properly and did not do anything wrong at all. From that time onwards, when my mum asked for my boyfriend who is working in the navy, I always replied that he had gone sailing.)
会社に入ってからも、そういう状況が続いていた。2年前のある日、母が私の携帯電話まで取り上げた。警察が帰るまで、返すことを拒否した。私はもう我慢できなかったので、家から出て、賃貸部屋に泊まった。外に住んでいた期間は辛くても、自由に生きるのは最高だと思った。3ヵ月余り後、私に家へ帰るよう頼んだ。最初は家で平和な日々を過ごせるかどうか試そうと思ったけど、予想外なことになった。帰ってから、状況はだんだんよくなってきた。やっと、家族と一緒に安心して食事できた。こんな日々を何年も願った。ようやく、叶った。今、母に対する憎しみは徐々消えているが、何としても、忘れられないことだ。
( Even when I entered a company, such situation continued. 2 years ago on a certain day, my mum took away my mobile phone. Until the police officer left, she refused to return it to me. As I could no longer tolerate it, I left the house and stayed in a rented room. Although the period staying outside was tough, I think being able to live freely is great. After around 3 months, I was asked to return home. At the start, I thought that I only want to try if I can live peacefully or not, but it became an unexpected outcome. From the return, the situation got better gradually. Finally, I am able to have peaceful mind during dinner with my family. I had wished for such days for many years. Finally, it was granted. Now, although the hatred towards my mum is slowly disappearing, however, it is something that I will never be able to forget.)
先生のコメント：とてもよく書けている作文です。お母さんとホイリンさんの関係がだんだんよくなることを願っています。彼とすてきな家族をつくってくださいね。
(Teacher's comments: You had done well in writing this composition. I am hoping that the relationship between you and your mum to be getting better. Please make a lovely family with your boyfriend.)
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